Tuesday, 26 June 2018

It took so little

How sick is the society is? 
It always took so little to be the bad girl. 
but so little to be the good boy. 

Stories of me at the parties were considered wild. 
There were lot of boys at the same state as me but they were not labelled as wild. 
The idea of a boy travel on his own was praised and supported by many. 
I went on a solo trip but people was trying to stop me before I did it. 

How sick is the society is? 
It always took so little to be a bad wife. 
but so little to be good husband. 

Rumours of a bad wife spread around because she didn't attend one of the business dinners with her husband. She didn't show enough support to her husband. 
A good husband was known by everyone when he only attend one of the gathering with his wife, once. He showed enough support to his wife. 

It always takes so much to be a good girl or woman. 
Look at all the things she did. 
She is so good but if there's one thing. screw up. She will not considered as good. 
People labelled, judgmental about how a good girl or woman should behave.
Especially, girls or women themselves. 
They are so harsh on each other. 
Pointing finger at each other. 
It so hard and take so much to be the ideal woman that everyone has in mind. 








Monday, 4 June 2018

Attack

The attack is real. 

As soon as i realise my pounding heart, 
i feel like choking, out of breath. 
Nothing comfort me. 
Food, sleep, alcohol... 

Days like these. 
shut in room.
watch any films. 
Nap in whole day.

As soon as i realise nothing caught my attention,
interest me. 
the attack is back. 
Days like these, 
re-appear again. 

My hands are numb. 
My head is spinning. 
My stomach is upset. 
My mind on its own. 

I tried. 
Walk into new circle 
Meet new friends. 
It certainly does not put me at ease.

Woke up in the mornings. 
To catch my breath. 
I thought I lost my breath.

I tried to cry. 
I tried to shout. 
My tears and voice decided to be absent. 

The attack make me ill.