The Cry Baby

The only cry baby i know is me. 

Laugh through with my tears, 

and it has tore me apart. 

The only cry baby i know is me. 

If my tears could be measured, 

they might filled up the swimming pool 

The only cry baby i know is me. 

The tears are falling to the ground, 

and they never come back. 

The only cry baby i know is me. 

Looking into mirror, 

I have no longer know who the girl is. 

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH WITH NI HAO MA

I am in UK for more than a year now.

A lot of time when i'm walking down the street, 

strangers who passed by me will say "你好吗？(NI HAO MA)”  

the only thing that going through my head is "DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY RACE AND NATIONALITY?" 

You might think I'm too sensitive about it but I definitely feel you are incredibly rude and culturally dumb when you just throwing "Ni Hao Ma?" to a complete stranger who looks like Chinese  to you. 

Dont get me wrong. 

If you are my friend, and you trying to make fun with it or you trying to pick up a few words to greet people. 

Thats totally fine. 

And I still know the differences between HARASSMENT and being FRIENDLY. 

Most of the time is annoying, harassment.

You definitely don't walk down the street greet random strangers with "their language" that you think it is. 

You speak the mutual language of the area. 

And you dont say "fuck off" if they dont give a respond.

Secondly, do we actually say "Ni Hao Ma?" 

Yes, on the TEXT BOOK! I learnt "Ni Hao Ma?" in school 

and NO because i never use it in my daily conversation to greet people or to start a conversation with someone

A simple "Hi" or "hello" will do among the strangers. 

I usually greet my friends with "how ur day been", "you alright?" 

My mom usually will start a conversation with "have you eaten?" and this question is quite generic for my mom's generation. 

So throwing "Ni Hao Ma?" to stranger is not a good idea. 

I might not have the position to say as I am a CHINESE and happen to know A FEW DIALECT IN CHINESE LANGUAGE.   

Just incase you did not know, MANDARIN is a dialect in chinese language. Chinese language is not single language, it includes a lot of dialect. Mandarin is the "face", the "standard" of chinese language. 

You have to understand there are a lot Chinese (as a race) around the world, and they might not know Mandarin. For instance, my parents didnt not know mandarin at all.  

Like I say not all the Chinese from China, you don't just assume our nationality. 

I don't mind if you asking where I'm from but NOT JUST ASSUME. 

I came from Malaysia, is one of the country in South East Asia. 

The distance between Malaysia and China is 3,512 KM which equivalent to 2,182 MILES. 

DISCLAIMER: 

I'm not trying to distance myself from the Chinese nationals,
I met and know a lot of them.
My great-great grandparents are from China and they migrated to Malaysia before the war.
I am the 4th generation that born and raised in Malaysia. I called myself a Malaysian.

About everything. is easier for man.

Few days ago, a close friend of mine went to a beach.
Posted a few bikini pictures of hers but she was insecure about it.
Saw her insta story, people DM her and the message is judgemental.

Then months ago, I was out for a few drinks with some guy friends and talked about things.
the events, work, night out, clothes and etc.
and i said things like this: i think it just easy for man.
They got offended and started to defend themselves.
I told the reasons why i think things are just easier for man. 
Somehow they agreed and we continued drinking.
(there wasn't a serious debate session, we were just chatting and drinking)

Then flash back, years ago. It was story of my mom.
There's waterfall near her house where a lot people will go,
my mom and her sister never have a chance to go the waterfall when they were kids.
They are not allowed to go the waterfall because they are girls.
All my uncles went to the water and told them how fun to be at the place.
The first time my mom went to the waterfall was after she got married and brought her kids to the waterfall.

Now is a story of mine. When i was a kid.
My uncle had a big pond where he was rearing his fish at his backyard.
There was tiny house in the middle of the pond where he kept all his equipment and you need to row the boat to the tiny house.
It looks fun. So I always wanted to go the tiny house when i was a kid
All my cousin brothers went to the tiny house but us.
My cousin sister, my sister and me.
Because we are girls.

There was time i wish myself is a boy because everything seems easy to be a boy.
Especially living in a world like ours.
Boys are taught to be outgoing and adventurous.

But most of the time, I'm glad and proud of being girl.
Despite the fact that this world is still pretty much gender inequality and sexism
I still love being a girl.
I met a lot strong woman in my life which includes my mom.
She raised me like a girl and allow me to live like boy.

The Three Years Rule

When I was a kid, I always wanted to have a roller shoes.
It was so popular at that time that almost every kids have one.
But me. So I begged my mom.
Everytime we passed a kid who has it, a shop where it sell,
I looked at my mom and she instantly turned around.
Avoid eye contact. Smart move.
For a very long time. Probably years.
I did not have it and it did not matter to me anymore.
Same as my sister.
Then, one day. My mom came back with those shoes for me and my sister.
We were excited that day, can't wait to go to the malls.
We only wore it once. Once.
Then they kept on the rack for years. Eventually, got threw away later.
I guess it doesn't matter anymore.

When I was a teenage girl, i was once had a crush on a boy in school. For a long time.
He was smart and was the popular boy in school.
I had a lot of thoughts about him but none of them happen.
Kept my head down, did not show my eyes when he talk.
Then we graduated from high school. On our way of our destiny.
And for years. I kept it with me. Probably few of best friends knew.
Years later. We met again.
He still the same, sweet, smart guy I knew but I no longer the little girl.
We had some very good conversation about study, career, life, family and etc.
And this time, no head down and show my eyes.
For the past few years, I didn't not try to make him be mine.
I guess it doesn't matter anymore.

So here's the thing.
If I did not have it,
and it doesn't matter in three years time,
It doesn't matter anyway. 
This is the conclusion I came up with.
I am not asking myself to forget about it but just remind myself it just less important than everything else.
It doesn't matter whether is the roller shoes or the crush. Is the everything that I want but I could not have.






  

about first language

Whenever people ask me about my first language. 

I was confused.

Growing up, I speak 3 different languages and 2 dialects.

I speak to my mom in Cantonese, my dad in Hakka. 

Learn and speak to my friends in Bahasa, English and Mandarin. 

So which is my first language? 

I still confuse, because i brought up by different languages. 

When I was kid, I went to chinese government primary school. 

In school, we learnt our math and science in Mandarin and English. 

In public examination, there were 2 languages, Bahasa and English on the test paper for certain subjects.

You might think that's so confusing. 

but at that point, i certainly think it was connivence. 

If I dont understand that question in english, i can just look at the other side, to see the bahasa version of it or the other way round.

Totally taking the advantage of it. 

Here's a little fun fact about our family. 

As a chinese, many of you would considered mandarin is my first language and mother tongue. I have no disagreement about it but it did not work for my parents. 

My parents didn't not learn mandarin in school or house when they were young.

They do not know how to read and write. They even will take some time to write their chinese name correctly. 

mandarin. 

My mom learnt how to speak mandarin when both me and little sister went to pre-school. She still barely recognised and read the chinese characters except our names. 

and i never heard my dad speak in mandarin in my life. He spoke other chinese dialects but Mandarin.

Both my parents speak english fluently and grammatically correct.  

So my mom often showed off her english when we were young because we did not do very well in english. 

but what she didnt know was, both me and my little sister tricked her because we know mandarin really well. 

Living in Malaysia, no one will ask about our first language. 

Simply because we live in country with mixed race and mixed language. 

In a very simple sentence, malaysian definitely have the ability to mix more than 1 or 2 languages in it and we still able to understand the sentence perfectly. 

As soon i live abroad or travelling, the question will be there. it just the matter of time.  

So what's my first language? 

you tell me. 

It took so little

How sick is the society is? 

It always took so little to be the bad girl. 

but so little to be the good boy. 

Stories of me at the parties were considered wild. 

There were lot of boys at the same state as me but they were not labelled as wild. 

The idea of a boy travel on his own was praised and supported by many. 

I went on a solo trip but people was trying to stop me before I did it. 

How sick is the society is? 

It always took so little to be a bad wife. 

but so little to be good husband. 

Rumours of a bad wife spread around because she didn't attend one of the business dinners with her husband. She didn't show enough support to her husband. 

A good husband was known by everyone when he only attend one of the gathering with his wife, once. He showed enough support to his wife. 

It always takes so much to be a good girl or woman. 

Look at all the things she did. 

She is so good but if there's one thing. screw up. She will not considered as good. 

People labelled, judgmental about how a good girl or woman should behave.

Especially, girls or women themselves. 

They are so harsh on each other. 

Pointing finger at each other. 

It so hard and take so much to be the ideal woman that everyone has in mind. 

Attack

The attack is real. 

As soon as i realise my pounding heart, 

i feel like choking, out of breath. 

Nothing comfort me. 

Food, sleep, alcohol... 

Days like these. 

shut in room.

watch any films. 

Nap in whole day.

As soon as i realise nothing caught my attention,

interest me. 

the attack is back. 

Days like these, 

re-appear again. 

My hands are numb. 

My head is spinning. 

My stomach is upset. 

My mind on its own. 

I tried. 

Walk into new circle 

Meet new friends. 

It certainly does not put me at ease.

Woke up in the mornings. 

To catch my breath. 

I thought I lost my breath.

I tried to cry. 

I tried to shout. 

My tears and voice decided to be absent. 

The attack make me ill. 

New Chapter in Malaysia

Many of my friends know I love travelling a lot, Japan is my favourite country to visit. Regardless how much I love about travelling to many unknown places, Malaysia is still my home. 

As Union Jack was lowered for the last time and Malayan flag was raised for the first time, the same coalition ruled Malaysia. For six decades. It is fact that the coalition brought us the independence of the nation but the people is tired of corruption. We are dying for change since the last election. 

The dream came true. May 9 will be the most memorable day for every Malaysian as the opposition coalition finally ousted the ruling party that has been in power since 1957. In this election, Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamed made a political come back after 15 years of retirement and now is elected as the Prime Minister again. 

When I was a kid, I knew Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamed from textbook, he is known as the Bapa Pemodenan Malaysia. KLCC, Multimedia Corridor and etc were built when he was in the office in the 80s and 90s. After 22 years served as Prime Minister, I wondered why he decided to come back after his retirement. In the interviews of both his wife and his daughter, I found the answer.

And now the changed is happened. The ceremony for the seventh Prime Minister begins. New chapter starts now. 

A Changing Moment

Weeks ago,
I felt uninterested in anything.
Probably because everything is under control, everything is scheduled.
I try to make thing interesting to do such try a new recipe or watch a new genre film or I anything that can make me excited.
But nothing interest me.

Something caught my attention.
Skateboarding.
So googled and bought a pennyboard few days later.

Received the board for two weeks now.
Went to cruise around twice.
I was scare to lift the other leg to the board for a long time.
One step at a time, able to put both feets on the board, make a slight turn, but not doing any tricks yet.
Not attempt to learn trick yet.
Of course, a few falls and some bruise after. 

Panic attacked last week.

I was panic till can't think things straight and started overthinking. 

So that day I went to bed early;

and woke up early the next day. 

Of course the panic is not over yet. 

But felt much better and the pressure is lessen. 

That day I woke up early - cleaned up the kitchen - had breakfast - went to uni - assignment - gym - home - dinner - film - bed

Same routine for a few days. 

There's some pressure because of the assignment due date, 

but it was never like that day. 

Starting the day early make me feel better. 

Enjoying breakfast as along as I want, eating while checking email, instagram, facebook;

Or going gym before. 

The quietness in the morning make me feel better. 

It makes me feel less anxious and more efficient. 

These are some of changing moments recently.
At some point, I did feel less worthy, anxious and those negative emotion.
I think the main point in this post, I'm trying to solve the problem without running away from it.
I know I become less interest in life so I look for something completely new to me.
I know I might over pressure myself so I look for a way to relax myself more.
I think everyone has their own moment like this, a changing moment.
A moment seeking for a  change.

关于8489

前些日子，过生日了。
虽然和以往不太一样，
但也算是以自己的方式过了;
也并没特别大肆庆祝。

隔天醒来发现，

25岁这个青年危机正向自己逼近。 

"one step closer to my quarter life crisis" 

计算着未来，想要如何如何度过下半生。 

或许、可能会想时间还长着呢。

别那么用力计算嘛。

可是，  

在过去8489的日子里， 

在认识的朋友中，我有一个同学永远无法过自己18岁生日。 

那年， 我们才15岁。 

虽然，没有特别熟络，

现在也不太记得名字。

但是非常清楚记得那时站在葬礼的感觉。 

看着她的面容， 

想起大家一起上课、下课。

然后，时间快转。

她却永远的沉睡了。 

偶尔想起这事儿，

真的很庆幸自己。

庆幸自己过着最想要得生活。

在8489日子里， 

自个儿独自到日本旅行去；

也体验和朋友到外狂欢；

遇上好工作、好同事、好老板；

给自己刺青；

到国外念书；

这是现在最好的自己。 

接下来的8489日子里， 

拥有着更多抱负与理想。 

计算着如何实现每个愿望。 

（真的好想时间倒转回到日本）

Officially 24

March 15 and I officially 24 this year.

one step closer to my quarter life now. 

Always watch Meg Jay's Ted Talk "Why 30s is not the new 20s"

to remind myself this is the defining decade. 

So I would not sitting around and blowing it. 

There's time where I was lost, 

There's time where I was scare;

There's time where I was confident, 

There's time where I was ambitious.

Human life is like a rollercoaster. 

There's ups and downs. 

I was lost at once and picked myself up. 

I was scare being too ambitious and end up reached my goals. 

I'm 24 years old girl who happy where I am at now. 

I celebrated how birthday suppose to be. 

Spending a night out with friends at dance floor, 

Waking up whenever I want the next day, 

Working on something I passion about, 

Speaking to my mom and sister, 

Making my own birthday cake, 

Dinner with close friends. 

That's how I ended my day on Mar 15. 

That's how I officially became 24 this year. 

Homemade birthday cake

关于留学这事儿

一直想写关于这事儿。

想必大家对留学这事儿都非常憧憬。
我也是。
在还未来到英国前，常常就在幻想那些美好的事。
来到以后，有些想象成了现实，可有些还是留在想象中吧， 毕竟这样比较美好。

在英国留学也快六个月了， 很多事也渐渐习惯。
比如，天气吧。
最近的英国受西伯利亚寒流的影响， 整个英国都变得冷飕飕的。
把冬天给延长、恐怕是要把春天给跳过了吧。
写此篇时，能感受到外面风真的挺大的。
有时还真想念那温暖的太阳。

在英国留学也快六个月了， 很多事也渐渐习惯。
比如，说话吧。
想起刚到这里的时候，听当地人说话，有时还真的要打起十二分精神去聆听，
否则，我根本就听不明白，然后假装好像知道一样，蒙骗过去。
写此篇时，虽偶尔还是不明白，但有些事也不需要假装去明白。
有时还真想假装不明白。

在英国留学也快六个月了， 很多事也还是不习惯。
比如，想家吧。
依旧会定时给妈妈通电话，特别是要周六日。
虽然没什么特别的事，可还是想给妈妈打电话。
虽然妈妈常酸我长太胖， 可还是想给妈妈打电话。
写此篇时，在图书馆给妈妈打电话了。
有时还真想回家。

反正，留学这事儿因人而异。
有人日子过的快乐；有人因思念难过。
我碰巧过得快乐也难过。
但愿日子长久，依旧过得快乐也难过。


此短片是关于我留学的事儿。
Alicia: Struggles of Being an International Student

There's time like this

There's time like this.
Feeling like you belong to here.
But you know,
No matter how good it is;
No matter how much you attached to it.
It will never be yours,
It will never be yours to keep.

There's time like this.
You love travelling so much.
But you know,
No matter how many unknown places you went;
No matter how many strangers you met.
One day,
One day you will be home.

There's time like this.
Dream of diving into the sea.
But you know,
No matter how beautiful the ocean is;
No matter how your moves in sync with the wave.
You will be tired,
You will be tired and drown.

There's time like this.
Letting go.
But you know,
No matter how hard you tried;
No matter how many voices telling you.
You can't,
You can't let go and choose to run away.

There's time like this.
Daydreaming.
And I know,
I need to do something;
I need to try make everything count.
Because I don't want,
Because I don't want to look back at my sad life.

做饭这事儿

开始学做菜这事儿大概是从上高中的时候，
以前给我们做饭的女佣回老家，妈妈上班很晚才回家。
要是等她回家做饭，恐怕我和我妹都饿昏了吧。
所以那时开始便开始做饭。

当然那时也不怎么会做饭，每次在做饭前都会先打给妈妈，
在电话的那一头，妈妈就会解释每道菜该怎么做。
电话结束以后，就会在厨房忙着。
偶尔也会有几次把食物做的很失败，我和我妹依旧会把它给吃了。
妈妈下班回家，看见饭桌上失败的料理，便会大声的说：
“怎么把这鸡弄成这样？”
“怎么那么咸？”
“厨房这么脏，你们怎么不弄干净？”
诸如此类的抱怨。
当然妈妈也只能抱怨，然后默默的食物给吃完。
至于像打了场战的厨房，通常妹妹都会去清理。

到后来开始上班，自己做饭不知怎么变成一件非常难的事。
妈妈依旧上班到很晚、妹妹到外地上学，
所以大部份的晚餐都会在公司里解决。
要么和同事聚餐，要么外带在公司或家里吃。
听起来好像可怜的，其实不然。

没多久以后，妈妈竟然在早上做饭。
从那时开始，午餐便是妈妈做的便当。
虽然菜色都大同小异，但毕竟是妈妈做的，总得吃完。
记得那时我老板或同事会问说：
“今天你吃什么”

再后来便是自己在国外生活了。
想吃、要吃什么便开始自己做。
在这里快4个月，非常少在外边或外带回家吃。
要不是去旅行或朋友们想吃pizza, 大部份的情况都会在家里做饭。

想必很多时候，大家做菜都会跟着食谱。
合同住在一个屋檐下的屋友们，基本上都会去看食谱，称或量好所需的分量，然后再料理。
我也会看料理的影片，但从来就不会跟着食谱上的分量去做，就像妈妈一样。
小时候，总会问妈妈
“你怎么知道好了？”
“你怎么知道味道够了？”
妈妈的回答总是一样的
“你会知道的”

我想料理就像人生一样，
时候到了，你总会知道下一步该怎么走。

［今天的早餐篇］
说实在，我也不知道这是什么，灵感来自于 Egg bread (Gyeran-ppang: 계란빵)。
当然这和影片里的完全不一样，但基本的做法是一样，加入自己想要的材料。
口感非常像在KL的kaya ball, 可是这里面有蘑菇、芝士和螃蟹棒。


 

旅行这事，利物浦。

［从港口外眺望的利物浦］

趁着学校假期还没结束，前几天就去了利物浦 (Liverpool)。

一，去看看朋友。在马来西亚不常见面的朋友，来到异国见面，总有种说不出的怪意。

二，闲来无事，就出去走走。 

每次到外地走走，都会先做些功课。

但这次除了预订住宿和火车票，我什么功课也没做。

朋友们都有特别想去的地方，所以就决定把这重任委托于他们。 

你可能会想，把旅行的计划都交给某个朋友安排，或许是一件蛮可怕的事。

有时确实会这样想。

但是，你要不是相信他／她，又怎么会把安排行程这事交给他／她呢？

其实仔细想，最可怕的不是朋友给你安排的行程有多不好，

而是你总会有一个朋友一直不断地在旅程中抱怨。

抱怨说：

“这里好远啊，为什么要来这里？”

“住地方好贵又不好，为什么要住这？”

“为什么我们没有去那里？”

以为到这里就结束了吗？还没。

明明大家不同意要去或做一件事，但应着蛮不讲理朋友的要求，大家还是去了。

结果旅行结束以后，大家就纷纷讨论着：

“下次还是别约他／她去好了”

然后下次这蛮不讲理的朋友还是会出现。 

这大概是恶性循环吧。

所以旅行这事，是得好好选伴儿。

免得花了钱，没有享受旅行的乐趣反而还受了气。

说了那么多，也还没说到利物浦这地方。

安排了两天呆在这个城市。

基本上我主要的行程就是约朋友们见面。 

第一天，买了一天的通行证 (day pass for all zone), 价值5.3英镑。

有了通行证，就能搭免费搭所有巴士和渡轮。

莫西河渡轮 (Mersey Ferries)是举世闻名渡轮之一。

所以就决定去了阿尔伯特码头(Albert Dock) 乘坐渡轮。 

在渡轮上，可以看到西河两岸的风景和历史悠久的建筑物。

同时间，也会有广播细说两岸的建筑物和其特色。

这渡轮耗时约40-50分钟，在船上除了被那强风不断打脸之外， 

就是和朋友在渡轮上眺望着远方和聊天。 

第二天早上，就去了圣乔治大厅 (St. George Hall) 和利物浦大教堂 (Liverpool Cathedral) 

在圣乔治大厅，可以了解旧时利物浦的监狱和法院的情况。 

与此同时，圣乔治大厅从某年开始便有音乐厅，所以这里也会举行音乐会。

［圣乔治大厅 (St. George Hall) 外部］

利物浦大教堂是目前我看过最宏伟的教堂。 

进入教堂的内部，就会看见非常漂亮的马赛克彩色玻璃窗。

即便我去的的时候天色已暗，但依然能看见。

所以比较建议在有太阳的时候来这里，想必当阳光照射在利物浦大教堂的马赛克彩色玻璃窗上，一定会更加让人觉的美得失去真实感。

［利物浦大教堂 (Liverpool Cathedral)  内部］

反正，身边旅行的伴儿，都是好伴儿。
即便偶尔会有一两次真的很想不要他／她在自己的旅行里，但想想还是算了。
毕竟除了旅行这事外，他／她真的也不会抱怨其他的了。

留学与妈妈

来到英国也有4个月了，
第一学期结束，圣诞也过了，年也跨了。
这四个月最大改变莫过于脸变圆了、长胖了。
每次和妈妈视讯，她最常说
“你脸越来越圆了”
“你的脸痘痘怎么那么多了”
“你多重了”
妈妈就是那个会毫不留情地给你讲些不好听的话。
然后你也不能把她怎样的人。

朋友会问会多久和妈妈视讯。
刚来的那阵子，几乎天天都在视讯。
现在大概一个礼拜会有两次吧。
有时我给她打电话，有时她给我打电话。
反正只要那天我们互相没接对方，
妹妹就会给打电话，视讯聊天。
而每次都能接，然后就会说我刚和妈妈或和我同电话了。

把这事告诉朋友，
一般都会说
“哇,一个星期2次很多eh。”
一般我都会说
“还好吧”

当你在机场分离的那一刻，
回头看了妈妈。
看到了是一份不舍。
即便她没有落泪，
心里一定会不舒服。
从小就在身边的小孩，
有天自个儿搭飞机去留学、会有些日子不回家，
你说她怎么舍得呢？

关于离职这事

认识我的朋友都知道，
念完了学院之后，我就开始了我的职场生涯。
那三年，有着稳定的工作、每个月领着薪水外加奖金、然后计划着到哪儿去旅行✈️。

在这经济不景气的时代，有个稳定工作就像人生的胜利者一样。
当别人还在领着零用钱时，我所花地全是自己的，自个儿赚自个花。
当别人还在找不着工作而烦恼时，我毅然把工作辞掉。

还记得当时告知老板的那一刻，老板当然挽留了。
毕竟老板栽培我那么久了，把一个完全对声音广播制作都不知道的黄毛小丫头培育成能独当一面的制作人，怎能让她说走就走呢。
有那么几个时刻，确实想留下了。

写辞职新也一直再拖延，
不知从哪开始写起，
不知是留恋还是不舍放下拥有的一切，
反正那封信一直没写。
直到某天电邮收到大学寄来的录取通知单，
我就知道我该把辞职信给写了。

在电脑前，前思后想，却怎么也写不出。
上网参考别人的辞职信，就开始了。
电邮的结尾写着 “ I have no regrets to have worked with GTR and am sad to inform that my season here is coming to an end...”
然后就把邮件寄出。

在看此篇的你可能会在想为什么要离职去念书？
会在想或许我一时冲动，会在想我疯了吧。
竟然把工作给辞了，回到校园。

至少到目前为止，我没后悔。
庆幸当时毅然离职，来到一个完全陌生的环境。
虽然这中间有恐惧和害怕，
但随遇而安让我对未来充满憧憬。

2018 。 新年。

这个部落也尘封太久了。
早上看到朋友写了篇文章，想起好几年前我也有个部落。
好不容易记起部落的名字，却又忘记用户名字和密码。
于是绞尽脑汁，终于登入了。

小时青涩的模样，
看回旧帖子，
让人有种不堪回首的过去。
诺干年后，在重读这些文章，
觉得以前也太搞笑，太丢脸了。
想必多年以后再重看此篇也已停会有相同的感受。

上一篇是在2013年，那时的我大概还在学院。
如今2018年，把学院念完了，也在职场上奋斗了2-3年，
然后重回大学校园。

在英国深造也有也有3个多月。
当初的憧憬、害怕和不安，一一地被自己解开。
现在，憧憬依旧。害怕和不安已退却。

不知道是不是离乡背井，
离开爸爸妈妈身边，
虽没有特别想家到哭着想回去，
但总想要打电话给妈妈和妹妹。
虽没有特别想家到买机票回去，
但偶尔也会想起家里做的饭菜。

想必接下来的日子，
也会用这里打发打发时间。
所以，新的一年，大家就多多指教了。