When I was a kid, I always wanted to have a roller shoes.
It was so popular at that time that almost every kids have one.
But me. So I begged my mom.
Everytime we passed a kid who has it, a shop where it sell,
I looked at my mom and she instantly turned around.
Avoid eye contact. Smart move.
For a very long time. Probably years.
I did not have it and it did not matter to me anymore.
Same as my sister.
Then, one day. My mom came back with those shoes for me and my sister.
We were excited that day, can't wait to go to the malls.
We only wore it once. Once.
Then they kept on the rack for years. Eventually, got threw away later.
I guess it doesn't matter anymore.
When I was a teenage girl, i was once had a crush on a boy in school. For a long time.
He was smart and was the popular boy in school.
I had a lot of thoughts about him but none of them happen.
Kept my head down, did not show my eyes when he talk.
Then we graduated from high school. On our way of our destiny.
And for years. I kept it with me. Probably few of best friends knew.
Years later. We met again.
He still the same, sweet, smart guy I knew but I no longer the little girl.
We had some very good conversation about study, career, life, family and etc.
And this time, no head down and show my eyes.
For the past few years, I didn't not try to make him be mine.
I guess it doesn't matter anymore.
So here's the thing.
If I did not have it,
and it doesn't matter in three years time,
It doesn't matter anyway.
This is the conclusion I came up with.
I am not asking myself to forget about it but just remind myself it just less important than everything else.
It doesn't matter whether is the roller shoes or the crush. Is the everything that I want but I could not have.
♥
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